Welcome to my small corner of blogland.
This is me:
Okay, that WAS me, 12 years ago. I traded in my chef whites for jeans, t-shirts and flip flops 9.5 years ago when I had my first baby. Haven't looked back since.
My specialty seems to be flimsies. I've got 15 (egad!) that need to be quilted.
In my defense, I'm on the brink of moving (as in, 14 days from today!), so I've been cranking out the flimsies. At the other end of this move is a gorgeous sister-in-law who has a long arm. Um, who wouldn't wait, right?
So I'm up to my eyelashes with boxes and cleaning and completely blanked on the giveaway this year.
How's about an etsy gift certificate this go 'round? Makes it super easy on me, you can pick out whatever your heart desires and my international buddies can enter and win as well.
So, here's what you hafta do for $25 on etsy:
Leave me a comment. We like clean jokes around here, so if you've got a killer knock-knock joke (and by killer I mean one that a seven-year-old will laugh at, so it doesn't have to be brilliant), share it. I've got a road trip coming up with my kids and I'd love to print off a list of jokes for them to read to each other. Thanks ever so!
Let the joking begin! And good luck!
Oh, the rules. Sheesh!
- One comment per person.
- No extra points for following (although I'm having a housewarming giveaway the first of June, so if you're a follower, you qualify for that).
- Comments close on Friday May 10 at 5 p.m. PST.
- Best joke wins. Or random number generator. I don't promise to be objective. If you make the whole family laugh, including my husband, at the dinner table this week, you win.
PLEASE PLEASE leave me a way to contact you - I've already had several no-reply bloggers comment and you'll be missing out on the fun for ALL the giveaways! Check and make sure, or just leave your e-mail in your comment!
I don't have a joke but this really cracked me up the other day (it's sewing related).
ReplyDeletehttp://www.poppytalk.com/2013/05/happy-weekend.html
Thanks!
Amandak@whatthebobbin
Sorry don't know any jokes. Good luck on your move. Thanks for the chance to win.
ReplyDeleteWhere was Mickey Mouse when the lights went out?
ReplyDeleteIn the dark!
Count me in!
ReplyDeleteThe best joke I can think of is, what do you call a cow that grows up a wall?
A bo-vine!
What did the elevator say about his job?
ReplyDeleteIt really gets me down.
This one might be a little naughty.
ReplyDeleteHow do you recognize Ronald McDonald at the nude beach?
He is the one with sesame seeds on his buns.
Well, this one was created by my 11 year old...
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a grass eating cow? A Lawn Moo-er. =)
Enjoy and thanks for a lovely giveaway. Have a safe move.
Knock, knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Barbie
Barbie who?
Barbie-q
I hope all goes well with your move, Jennie!
How do you make your handkerchief dance? You put a little boogie in it. (That was my sister's favorite joke in first grade.) Good luck with the move and thanks for the chance.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a row of bunnies hopping backwards?
ReplyDeleteA receding hare line.
My uncle is famous for his awful jokes. :)
Why do seagulls fly to the sea?
ReplyDeleteIf they flew toward the bay, they'd be bagels!
Knock knock. (Who’s there?) Dwayne. (Dwayne who?) Dwayne the bathtub – I’m drowning
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giveaway, and good luck on your move!
Lol at your blog title. My four-year old won't stop singing that song. Guess how much I appreciate you putting it back in my head. ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy five youngest are between the ages of 4 & 10, so I totally get what you mean about the knock knock jokes. We had a pretty ridiculous round going at dinner a couple weeks ago. I won with the following... "Knock Knock" "Who's there" "POOPY!" Cue hysterical laughter... Oh wait you said "clean".
(The backstory of course is that my kids won't stop saying poop or fart every chance they get and I can't get them to stop by ignoring it, because they give each other too much positive feedback and it's Driving me CRAZY! *end rant* You can imagine their absolute shock and delight when when I said it.)
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
ReplyDeleteEtch. Etch who? Bless you!
I love that one! Thanks for the chance to win!
How did the musician make the Kleenex dance?
ReplyDeleteHe put a little boogie in it.
Happy giveaway day, and I hope your packing and move go smoothly!
Our favorite knock knock joke
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
Who's there?
Doctor Who!
Okay here goes:
ReplyDeleteA husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."
Sorry 'bout that lol!
Wildbluestarz ((at)) aol ... com
Here is one for the grown ups:
ReplyDeleteWhat did the zen master order at the hot dog stand?
Make me one with everything.
What did the guy at the hot dog stand say when he asked for his change?
Change comes from within.
(Ok, sooooooo didn't read all the comments before I posted mine. Not trying to copycat!) :)
ReplyDeleteKnock, Knock?
ReplyDelete::Who's there?
Little old lady.
::Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
One of my kids favorites :) Good luck on the move!
modernmarketingmama (at) gmail (dot) com
Knock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Boo
Boo who?
You don't have to cry about it!
What did the Pink Panther say when it stepped on an ant?
ReplyDeleteDead ant, dead ant, deadantdeadantdeadant.....
I like this one...
ReplyDeleteKnock knock.
Who's there?
Honey bee.
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a soda!
dazzlingshorty(at)yahoo(dot)com
What Do You call The Dog With No Arms and No Legs?
ReplyDeleteIt Doesn't Matter, He Won't Come!
How did the tree get on the internet? It logged on!
ReplyDeleteknock knock
ReplyDeletewho's there?
interrupting cow.
interruptin...
MOOOOO
Knock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there!
Duck!
Duck who?
Just duck!
They're throwing things at us!
Thanks for the chance to win.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches?
ReplyDeletexxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Because then it would be a foot!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
ReplyDeleteArr?
Aye, You'd think that, but it's actually the sea!
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out, it's cold in here.
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve ropes in here.”
ReplyDeleteThe rope walks outside, ties a knot in the middle of his body, brushes out the strands at the bottom and heads back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Aren’t you the rope I just threw out of here?” The rope replies, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
Thanks for the giveaway!
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
I knew you were a nut!
What do you call a fish with no eyes/I's? "Fshhhhhh" It's better out loud than written down :) THanks for the chance!
ReplyDeleteKnock, knock
ReplyDeleteWho’s there?
Figs
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
Thanks for the fun giveaway!
My daughter told me this one:
ReplyDeleteQ: what did the shark want to put into his birthday cake?
A: his teeth!
Funny to a 6 year old!
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Interrupting physicist.
Interrupting physi....
Mu-on !~!
Thanks for the chance.
Bows to all up and coming scientists.
My now 18 year old's favourite joke when he was little was:
ReplyDeleteWhy don't tigers eat clowns?
-------------
Because they taste funny!
:)
prairiegirl1971@hotmail.ca
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey Buddy, why the long face?" (Ba-dum-bum)
ReplyDeleteOoh, everyone's already given you all of the jokes I could think of...just a minute. Here's one.
ReplyDeleteWhy did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the duck cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
...
Sorry.
What do you call a man with a gull on his head - Cliff...... Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSo...a mushroom walks into a bar and orders a soda. The bartender tells him "Sorry sir, no mushrooms allowed." And the mushroom responds "But why? I'm a funghi (fun guy)!
ReplyDeleteKnock knock....
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Dunnop...
You know the rest... :D
Whats the hardest thing about catching a train?
ReplyDeleteGetting someone to throw it to you.
That was from my son :-)
Knock knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Is a bell necessary on a bicycle?
Sorry, I'm a fail here, I don't even manage German jokes, let alone English ones...
ReplyDeleteBut I'm in for the giveaway, thanks for the chance!
My 3 1/2 year old son is cracked up by the 'hey Mum...' 'What darling? ' 'nufing' joke... But he doesn't get "what time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence. Hope your giggling. Thanks
ReplyDeleteWho was the only person in the Bible without any parents?
ReplyDeleteJoshua the son of Nun!
Hope this made you laugh!
Brigid
The Middle Sister and Singer
How about a riddle?
ReplyDeleteWho holds the record of the world champ for playing hide & seek? Bigfoot :)
I'm lame....I can't EVER think of any jokes. Must be time to read some more of your comments and learn some! : )
ReplyDeleteOnly one I can think of is What is black and white and red (read) all over? A newspaper
ReplyDeleteI am bad at jokes...here is one though I remember from my childhood...Do you know why eating carrots is good for eye sight? Have you ever seen a bunny rabbit wearing glasses?
ReplyDeleteOutside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
ReplyDeleteInside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Great giveaway! Thanks!
Jennifer
jennifereladd at yahoo dot com
Why do tigers have stripes? So they don’t get spotted.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a joke, but I have a funny story. I was teaching 4th grade Sunday school, and we were doing a lesson on the miracles of Jesus. I divided the class into small groups and asked them to pick a miracle to act out, and the rest of the class would try to guess the miracle. One group had a miracle that the class couldn't guess. One girl, who was apparently playing the role of Jesus, was putting hands on the two other girls, who were walking around on their knees. Since we couldn't guess, I asked the girls to tell us which miracle it was. They told me, "It's Jesus healing the leprechauns!"
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't the skeleton cross the road?
ReplyDeleteHe didn't have the guts.
Knock knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Mickey Mouse
Mickey Mouse who?
Mickey Mouse's underwear!
I made that up when I was 4. I'm 33 now and it still makes me laugh. Especially when my 4 year old tells it. Yes, I'm easily amused.
I don't know any knock knock jokes! But I do laugh at them when I hear one in a TV-show.
ReplyDeleteKnock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho’s there?
Hoo.
Hoo who?
Are you a owl?
This apprently made the top 10 list of best knock knock jokes:
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
Who's There?
Me.
Me Who?
No, really. It's just me. I'm telling a knock knock joke.
Hmmm....
What did the cow say to her calf?
ReplyDeleteMoooooooooove over.
Thanks for the giveaway!
How do Tyrannosaurus Rex high-five?
ReplyDeleteThey can't, they are extinct.
I raised boys and a good dinosaur joke was always a hit.
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Oink oink.
Oink-oink who?
Make up your mind, are you a pig or an owl??
Knock knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne, who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwownin'!
I can't think of a joke so I will just wish you a stress free move!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic giveaway-thank you!
ReplyDeleteIf you are looking for a joke that will get the loudest groan then the only one I know is
ReplyDeleteA man walked into a bar... and said ouch!
Sorry you can just delete me now. :)
Here's the BEST knock-knock joke, ever! You start! Com'on, say "Knock, knock!"
ReplyDeleteTHANKS FOR SHARING!
ReplyDeletemsstitcher1948@yahoo.com
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
ReplyDeleteNA-cho cheese!
hm a joke... whats black and white and red all over?
ReplyDeletea zebra with a sunburn...or if you want to be literal another anser is a newspaper.
I am really bad with jokes, but I will do my best to translate to English the only joke my dad would tell us once and over again...
ReplyDelete"Captain Captain an army is coming!! Are they friends or enemy? Friends captain, they are coming all together...
Thanks for the chance to win besides the joke!
my son Blue loves jokes... my sister taught him this one when meeting new people. B: "how much does a polar bear weigh?" A: "i don't know, how much?" B: "enough to break the ice, hi i'm Blue." he thinks it's hilarious. and his favorite joke: what do you call a snail on a ship? a snailor.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid our knock knock jokes always turn into toilet humor...
ReplyDeleteKnock knock.
Who's there?
I'm up.
...
Knock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's There?
Banana
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Banana
Knock Knock
Who's There/
Orange
Orange Who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Banana.
My now 9 year old used to love that one =)
Ack people already posted all the clean jokes i can think of!! so i have 2 for you one that you may or may not be able to use!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?? El-i-phi-no (when you say it out loud it makes more sense) and then this one is clean: why was 6 scared of 7? because seven eight nine
Oh man, whenever anyone asks for a joke I simply cannot think of one! Good luck with the move -- stay calm and don't stress!
ReplyDeleteThis one made me laugh...I overheard my then 4 year old son tell this to his Grandma.
ReplyDeleteWhy did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station.
blessings, jill
ps. good luck with the move
Q. Where does wood come from?
ReplyDeleteA. A guy named woody
Good luck moving!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately for me, I am the last to ask for a joke lol! Great prize!
ReplyDeleteI have no good jokes, sorry!
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Grape.
Grape who? (Sounds like gray poo. I know disgusting, but the boys roll over this one.)
What does a ninja say when he sees a terrifying monster?
ReplyDeleteHi - yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I don't know many, but my kids like " what day to potatoes hate most?" Friday!!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you ask a blue whale?
ReplyDeleteWhy so sad? :)
Thanks for the chance!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
ReplyDeleteA rock.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 789.
ReplyDeleteTwo elephants walked off a cliff.
ReplyDeleteBoom, boom.
sad I know, i asked my daughter for that one ;)
I will give it two tries. One from me and the other from the Hubby
ReplyDeleteWhat time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty....hahaha like 2:30
Why do eskimos wash their clothes in Tide? because its too cold Out Tide
Good luck with your move!
caramwills(at)gmail(dot)com
why do banana wear sun screen to the beach?....... Because they might peel! Lame I know, but my 1st grader told me that one tonight. Thanks for the great giveaway and good luck on the move.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a snakes favourite subject?
ReplyDeleteHissssstory!
Thanks for the chance!
No jokes but thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeletemystica123athotmaildotcom
I'm not sure if any of the jokes I have heard of late are suitable - too naughty!
ReplyDeleteNot a joke, but a saying a really funny uncle of mine was famous for. If you missed something 'by a hair' he's version was: "by an 1/8th of a polony skin". Can you imagine how close that is? Especially if I win against my hubby in Monopoly - it's that close - hahaha.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a great giveaway (if I win I'm buying patterns), good luck with the move and holding my thumbs that your hubby has great visual recall of a polony skin ;)
What do you call a cow on a hill? Lean beef
ReplyDeletethanks for the great giveaway..... joke time... what d d the papa tomato say to the baby tomato.... KETCHUP!
ReplyDeleteLove this! Thanks for the chance to win?
ReplyDeleteWhat did one pickle say to the other?
"I'm kind of a big dill"
Sorry, I do love corny jokes :)
Knock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Duane!
Duane who?
Duane the bath, I'm dwowning!
sntbosch(at)me(dot)com
What did the pony, who had a cold, say to the bigger horse. "You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little 'hoarse'."
ReplyDeletemcintoshsusan@hotmail dot com
Good luck on your upcoming move!
ReplyDeleteNot quite a knock knock but 'What did the teacher say to the pencil?" 'Get to the point.'
"What fruit do scarecrows like?" Answer: Straw-berries! ha ha!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chance to enter. Good luck with your move.
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho’s there?
Doris!
Doris who?
Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!
the one my 4 yr gson told yesterday was the Knock Knock , say banana, arnt you glad I didnt say orange again.
ReplyDeleteWhat did Luke Skywalker call his pet alligator?
ReplyDeleteDarth Gator! Sorry, that's all I got! lol! atabanana29(at)gmail(dot)com
Where do Generals keep their Armies?
ReplyDeleteIn their sleevies!
Thanks for the great giveaway!
knock knock, who is there?, banana, banana who?
ReplyDeleteknock knock, who is there?, banana, banana who?knock knock, who is there?, banana, banana who?knock knock, who is there?, banana, banana who?knock knock, who is there?, orange, orange who
aren;t you glad I didn't say banana again?
What's brown and sticky?
ReplyDeleteA stick!
Loved by small boys everywhere!
I know zero jokes. I can come up with quick witty things to say as the situation demands, but jokes, not so much.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about a race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was A HEAD and the tomato was trying to KETCHUP! Har har!
ReplyDeleteI'm witty..but I can't tell a joke to save my life.
ReplyDeleteDid you hear about the fire in the circus? It was in tents. (intense)
ReplyDeleteI'm not good w/jokes, but a good car game is to make a list of words you usually see on billboards or road side signs and have the kids search them out, even fun at rest areas too! Best of luck w/the move!
ReplyDeleteKnock knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, but I would like a peanut instead!
hadas_a1@yahoo.com
What do you call a pig that knows karate??
ReplyDeletePork chop!
hehe
I don't know too many jokes anymore, but I did watch Jurassic Park recently and they had a good one.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a tyrannosaur's dog?
Tyrannosaurus Rex :)
Thanks for the chance to win!
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Interrupting Cow!
Interrupting Cow Who?
{interrupts} Moooooooooo!
I swear that's my favorite joke to this day.
I have a terrible memory for jokes, so I'll just say thanks for the awesome giveaway and good luck with the move :)
ReplyDeleteA man sits on on a bar stool and he hears..."nice hair". He looks around and sees nothing. Again he hears "Nice shirt". No one there again. He asks the bartender if he is hearing the voices too. The bartender says "oh...those are complimentary peanuts".
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
A little boy
A little boy who?
A little boy who can't reach the doorbell. Open the door!
oh here goes my little girl likes this one.
ReplyDeletewhy is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7 8(ate) 9
lol
A cowboy rode into town on friday. He stayed 3 days and left on friday...who'd he do it?
ReplyDeleteTHanks for the drawing!
what do sea monsters eat?
ReplyDeletefish and ships!! :D
Ok, Jurassic Park it is:
ReplyDelete1. What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doo-yoo-think-ee-saurus
2. What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog? A Doo-yoo-think--saurus Rex.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
ReplyDeleteWhat do u call a pig that knows karate?
ReplyDeletePork chop:)
Someone already said the one that was a favorite with my girls when they were little...the "orange you glad I didn't say banana" one :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not any good with Jokes.But I was ont eh phone with myneice yesterday and her 3 year old daughter was just a talking in teh background. carrying on this huge conversation. So i asked myneice who is Chloe talking to. She says to me I bought her a toy cell phone so she is talking on her cell phone ( pretend conversation now) So her mom says chloe who are you talking to. She says Aunt Tammy. lol...so funny since me and her mom or on the real phone talking. So then a minute later Chloe starts laughing. I said what is so funny she is giggeling up a storm. My neice askes what she is laughing at. So chloe responds to her oh Aunt Tammy is telling me a joke about a old man that plays with doll houses. I could not believe it. This child is so smart . She can come of with the crzyest things withouth even takeing time to think about it . Shs just pops out these amazeing responses. So of course my neice chloes mom starts to laugh and chloe says see its a funny joke...lol..kids gotta love em...
ReplyDeleteKnock, knock... Who's there?... Interrupting cow... Interrupting co...MOOOOOOOOOO! :o) Thanks for the chance.
ReplyDeleteKnock knock...who's there?...Interuptng cow...interrupting cow...moo!
ReplyDeleteknock knock
ReplyDeletewho's there?
boo.
boo who?
don't cry! It's only a joke!
peachstateme (at) hotmail (dot) com
Okay, this is really bad but my kid thought it was funny.
ReplyDeleteHow do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like you're nuts!
Knock knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Hatch
Hatch who?
Ha! I made you sneeze!
My niece's favourite Knock Knock joke is "Who's there?", "Frank", "Frank who?", "Frank you for being my friend". I should probably add that she's 3 so that probably has a fair bit to do with it. I'm so impressed that you have 5 kids & can find time to sew, let alone pack for a move - well done & good luck! Thanks for the chance to win.
ReplyDeleteI'm such a bad joke teller - I always mess up and say the punchline first, so how about an inspirational quote instead? Fair trade? I like: "Someone else is happy with less than you have"
ReplyDeletecynsaw2(at)yahoo(dot)ca
My girls love to tell jokes. Knock, knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!
ReplyDeleteSorry I can't think of any clean jokes
ReplyDeleteKnock knock?
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Me.
Me who?
No, seriously, it's just me. I am telling a knock knock joke.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
ReplyDeleteAfter a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
I don't have a joke, but I just noted you have a quote from Lucille Ball and my eldest daughter (the ripe old age of 2) name is Lucille! So there you go, pretty neat.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, Ok, here goes: A rope walks into a bar (this is under the assumption that ropes can walk, of course), the bartender says "Are you a rope, I'm sorry, we don't serve ropes here". So, the rope leaves. Another rope walks into a bar, and the bartender tells him "hey aren't you a rope, we don't serve ropes in here". So the rope leaves. A third rope walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you a rope?" and the rope says "no, I'm a frayed knot". Get it? (I'm afraid not) (I'm a frayed knot). Ha ha ha ha aha ha ha ha ah aa ha ha ha ha. :)
ReplyDeleteTwo atoms are walking down the street and one bumps into the other one. It starts screaming, "I've lost an electron!" The other atom says, "Are you sure?" and it says, "I'm positive!"
ReplyDeleteJust a little chemistry humor. :) Thanks for the chance to win and good luck with your move!
My kids favorite joke:
ReplyDeleteWhats black, white, and red all over
A zebra eating ketchup
detroitgirl77 AT gmail DOT com
Ok my only joke is a terrible one that no one else thinks is funny except me... "Ask me if I'm an orange"... "Are you an orange?"... "no"
ReplyDeleteWell I did warn you, I'm chuckling though!!
knock knock
ReplyDeletewho's there?
hatch.
hatch who?
Bless you!
------------
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in a cherry tree.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Works pretty good, doesn't it?
I'm very bad at telling jokes, but here's one my dad sent me:
ReplyDeleteAn elderly man was stopped by police at 2a.m. and asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied: "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the bad effect it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The police officer then asked "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied "My wife."
sorry - no joks...
ReplyDeletemy 3 boys aren't home so i had no one to ask.
:)
thank you for the giveaway.
as english isn't my native language, jokes are not really for me... sorry.
ReplyDeleteI would however like a chance to win!
Thanks for the chance. Not really a joke, but you may find this useful for packing or travelling - `Silence is golden; duct tape is silver.``
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a fish with no eyes? A "fsh"
ReplyDelete...It cracks me up every time and I'm 30.
thanks for the chance!
ReplyDeleteKnock knock... Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Sorry i didn't know you had a cold.
ReplyDeleteAn old standard, but I love it!
What's the difference between a woman jogger and a sewing machine?
ReplyDeleteA sewing machine only has one bobbin.
Thanks for the chance!
This one might be a little over done but my 4 year old loves it. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of socks does a pirate wear? Arrrgyle.
ReplyDeletehaha
I do not have any jokes. I can't think of any. maybe it's the meds? I spent a few hour in ER last night with pneumonia. Last thing I need this time of year-at least we finished state testing at school yesterday. Any way, thanks for the chance to win and good luck with the move.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you'd tell your kids this one but my favorite joke is...
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call a elephant crossed with a rhinoceros?
Elephino (Hell if I know)
Get it? Agh! It's bad, I know. *groan*
Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?
ReplyDeleteSo from a distance they'd look like hares!
Ok it's a groaner but it's the only one i could think of!
Here's my favorite:
ReplyDeleteAdam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear you children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like that cost?"
God said, "An arm and a leg."
Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
Knock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Myth!
Myth who?
Myth you too!
Thanks for participating! :)
When is a door not a door?
ReplyDeleteWhen it's ajar (a jar).
Thanks for the chance to win.
I was wondering...Did you celebrate Star Wars Day? When was that you ask....you did ask didn't you? Well of course it is on May the Fourth(be with you) Is that bad enough for you?
ReplyDeleteWhat did 0 say to 8?
ReplyDeletenice belt!
My kids love that joke!
I'm sorry I don't have a joke, I can never remember them. Hope you have a great move, it's nice to be by family.
ReplyDeleteMy kids love knock-knock jokes so I have a couple of good ones that they always laugh at:
ReplyDeleteKnock knock.
Who's there?
Bob the interrupting cow
Bob the interrupting cow who? (interrupt this line with a loud, "Mooooooo!")
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
Cows don't go who! Cows go moooo!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in? It's cold outside!
I know a man who has worked 40 years as a chauffeur and has nothing to show for it.
ReplyDeleteQ. What is the most vulnerable animal in the world?
A. A frog. If you just touch it, it will croak.
What did Tennessee?
Same thing Arkansas.
Well, what did Delaware?
She wore a New Jersey.
senstrings (at) yahoo dot com
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Tuna.
Tuna who?
Tuna MEEEEEEEEEE!
I know, it makes no sense at all, but my son came up with it by himself when he was 3, and it's been a classic ever since!
pete and repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out who was left....(repeat)
ReplyDeletepete and repeat were in a boat......you get the picture! Thanks!!
Where does a cow go when he wants to have fun?
ReplyDeleteThe moo-vies!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
I love me some Australian jokes :)
ReplyDeleteQ. Why did the emu cross the road?
A. To prove he wasn't a chicken!
Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!
the7thsphere (at) gmail (dot) com
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. (7 ate 9)
ReplyDeletesorry no great jokes.. but great give away.
ReplyDeleteWhat did the wall say to the other wall?
ReplyDeleteMeet you at the corner!
The only Knock Knock joke I know is-
ReplyDeleteKnock knock
Who's there?
Hannah
Hannah who?
Hannah a partridge in a pear tree.
I always remember that one because I tell it to my daughter who is named...Hannah. She is 23 now and still doesn't think it is funny.
Ok here's one for the adults...
ReplyDeleteTwo Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women, the prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
Three weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "But it shouldn't be long now though, her clothes arrived yesterday!!
And for the kids...
Q: Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet?
A: Right now the cops have nothing to go on.
Q: What do birds need when they are sick?
A: A tweetment!
Q: Why isn't your ear 12 inches long?
A: If it were, it would be a foot.
Q: What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard?
A: The space bar.
Thanks for the chance to win. I wish I had a good joke but my kids are in the "goofy jokes that don't make sense" stage.
ReplyDeleteMy Daughter Loves
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
Who's There?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream Who?
If you don't Let me in I Scream
Or in the case of bed time if you don't let me out of my bed room I will scream at the moment :) Happy moving/road tripping. I hope it all goes well for you.
Okay, here's a couple:
ReplyDeleteWhy did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What does a snail say when riding a turtle's back?
Weeee!
How do you get down from an elephant?
ReplyDeleteYou don't get down from an elephant, you get down from a goose!
thanks for the chance to win
ReplyDeleteI'm blanking on a joke, how sad is that? But last night at a track meet I played hand clapping games for about a hour with my 4 granddaughters. They knew some rhymes and I knew a few oldies. Like "Did you ever, ever, ever in your long legged life meet a long legged farmer with his long legged wife. No I never, never, never in my long legged life met a long legged farmer with his long legged wife." Have a nice trip. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI have to laugh, my daughter just had her first baby. I think she would hurt someone if they suggested 4 more right now.
ReplyDeletei am so bad at jokes but here's my daughter's favorite:
ReplyDeleteWhat did the eggs say to the bacon? Stop--you're cracking me up!
What did the bacon say to the eggs? Well, you're bacon me laugh!
haha...not so funny the 25th time, but still... :) Good luck with the move!
Knock knock
ReplyDeleteWho's There?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
"make TARDIS noise or hum theme tune"
Knock knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Turnip!
Turnip who?
Turn up the radio! I can't hear it!
Sorry I can't remember any knock knock jokes... but my boys always tell me this joke...
ReplyDeleteWhere do snowmen store their money?
In a Snow Bank of course.
Thanks for a chance to win! :)
Why didn't the lobster share???
ReplyDeleteBecause he was shellfish! (har, har, har!)
This one was from my son:
ReplyDeleteWho is Burger King married to?
The Dairy Queen!
Great giveaway, thank you for the chance?
I am not good at jokes :(
ReplyDeleteHow do you make a kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it. Ha! Thanks! wonderlandbyalyce at gmail dot com
ReplyDeleteWhat's green and goes to Camp? A Brussel Scout!
ReplyDeleteWhy do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in Cherry Trees.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in it's cold out here!
My 6 year old is heavily into jokes at the moment too.
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
ReplyDeleteHer mother was in a jam!
This one is pretty funny if you don't mind linking ;-)
ReplyDeletehttp://pinterest.com/pin/536913586796073423/
thanks for the chance to win!
ReplyDeleteI'll bet being a Chef has been a bonus for your family and friends. I'm an ex-chef myself.
ReplyDeleteThis one is from Evan today (he just offered it out, without my soliciting): What type of room doesn't have any windows? A mushroom!
ReplyDeleteSecond joke: Why can't T.Rex count to five? He only has 4 fingers!
emmevon(at)gmail(dot)com
ReplyDeleteknock knock
who's there?
Interuppting cow.
Interupting..MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO............
My 3-year-old told his first joke!
ReplyDeleteWhy do chickens sit on their eggs?
Because they don't have chairs!
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow. You sure are excited to see me!
Pete and Repeat were on a boat,,Pete fell out, who was left? (Repeat)
ReplyDeletePete and Repeat were on a boat,,Pete fell out, who was left?....annoying ugh..LOL my daughter thinks its funny!!!
I've been trying to think of a joke for a few days, since nothing was coming to mind, and your latest post just reminded me of one: What do smart fish learn in school? Not to take debate!
ReplyDeleteI didnt' read the other comments, so I'm sorry if someone else already left that one.
beaniekins84(at)gmail(dot)com